Marisol's Sketch Book: Entry 5

Entry # 5
Seems like more time and effort has been put into this work more then average. The colors are vibrant, and seemingly seems peaceful, and positive even. It looks like at some point the owner decided to take a different route and inserted more morose subject matter. On the back of the drawing is a stream of consciousness...:

Date: (Returning to Goali after Laston Bell )
''It constantly feels like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back with this god dam team. I really thought maybe shit could finally work out. K seems to have his shit together, Lily has been more decisive, Seipora tolerable...ish..., Anthos well...at least he's leaving me the fuck alone, and Ingred...fucking a...she's a little shit. She fucking ran!? A healer, a god dam fucking healer abandoning their charge...wtf training did she have? I'm having a hard time believing it's because she's a coward, but maybe she is...maybe I misjudged her.....AND nobody seems to fucking care, I guess we can ditch each other mid-battle- ugh how am I supposed to work with these people Lady Death, if I'm following a path and you say I can choose to make it easier or harder but the freaking people who could maybe, MAYBE help, have catastrophic meta changing issues. Like seriously none of these fuckers are normal, and the one person who I thought I needed to worry the least about, is now my biggest concern. ''

''Whatever, maybe I'm chasing a nightmare that does not- no, no...I have to do this. I need to find them and destroy them, all of them...I just need more answers, and K may hold some answers. If only I can talk to the being inside his head, but even if I do, it doesn't seem like he would be willing to talk...honestly maybe K's brain cells are stupidfying this ancient old fuck...like it's a WIN WIN situation!!! We get rid of the group that worships the very being that defeated him or die trying and well...hmm does he get K's body if he dies..ah anyways either way this shit sucks. I'm constantly the bad guy, and if I don't find a way to bridge my supposed teammates might become my enemy...and I'm not dumb enough to think I can do this alone...ugh I don't want to die in vain- but honestly, if I died in battle well it would be so much easier...and I mean it's not like she could be disappointed...I tried...but like I'm fucking half-elf with celestial beings with stupid celestial problems, and a fucking orc with a homicidal delusional brother obsessed with enslaving an army of the dead...fuck her for comparing me to that fuck....but at least she didn't abandon us in battle.''

''FUCK why am I so pissed about this! I really shouldn't care this much, stupid green-blue little shit, and her supposed "kindness", and wanting to work together...naive shit writes me a letter, constantly bugs me, is an insecure fucking mess...saved my life...tries to help me...ugh and I guess they all do in their own way...Dam IT I feel like a fish out of water. I don't know how to fix this.''