Ingred's Journal Entry 12: Son of a...

''The font is written in thick, blue colored pencil, identical looking to the pencils found in the common room. The journal smells heavily of lavender, almost as if it's trying to cover up another scent. ''

Gosh… where to start. What a disaster tonight has been…

I feel ill. And not because of the god awful odor that now plagues my suite, although that was enough to almost make me lose my stomach. Good Lord Jonsen. I don’t like the way this went…

I expected that we would have this conversation eventually, but… Damn it, Anthos…

It’s really frustrating to talk to him. I'm sick of men that have a one-track mind. What kind of influence are we if all we do is kill things? There’s a difference between killing corruption and killing people… It’s attitudes like this that keep people biting at each other’s heels. That prevents people from forgiving. I pity Anthos for seeing himself as a mercenary. I don’t want to be a preacher, but come on! You dense bastard! Life isn’t black and white. He is far too old fashioned. That, or too damn traumatized to see things from another perspective.

At least Anthos said that I was intelligent. That he thinks I’m intelligent. Little does he know that I am a fucking moron. Let’s hope it stays that way.

And of course: adding injury to insult… I mean, I figured I would have something coming for me after snatching Marisol’s mat, but excuse me??? Pardon?? What the fUCk. Ok… ok, it’s just a stench, but holy shit is it terrible. I’m probably going to have to wash everything I own after my suite finally airs out. I get it, Marisol! I understand! Damn! I won’t bother anymore. But there’s no way in hell I’ll be talking about what happened. I refuse to give Marisol that satisfaction. If she wants the party to know, she’s going to have to tell them herself. I doubt she would though. It wouldn’t be amusing for her, I don’t think. She seems obsessed with being entertained with others' sufferings.

Now I’m stuck sleeping in the dumb ol’ common room. Fantastic.

This isn’t a great way to be spending the night before a very… nerve wracking experience. I’m trying not to think about it. The oppressive atmosphere of the courts, the murmurs, the final judgement… Fuck. I- I really am scared. But… this is important. I’m going to try my best to not show weakness to the others, however… I’m afraid of how things will change when we’re inside. I don’t want to be reminded of it. I don’t.

Despite how I feel, the trial is going to be an eye opener. I’m more curious about the final verdict that the other party members will receive rather than Do’novan’s, but... I understand how necessary it will be for Seipora to get closure. I hope that they won’t be sentenced to death, but we will see what the jury decides. If they do? Uh… it will definitely be cause for concern, I think…