Marisol's Sketch Book: Entry 4

Entry # 4

It's a mess, usually, the owner is more meticulous about their work and thoughts being separate. However, the words run out of space and begin to creep over onto the drawing itself. With much effort, the reader can just make out the angry stream of consciousness below.

Date: (Day of Trial and Team Meltdown )
''Today was a day....people got what they deserved,  we all fucked up AGAIN and Anthos took us to some Domestic hellhole after the trial, I honestly have no idea what a thousand-year-old being would want to do in this place...wait- could it possibly be family? He can not be that stupid? Fuck whatever, mothers, babies fucking overrated. Ingred, being a perfect example. Also, I'm soo sick of this group's stupid concern for each other, by the gods we have bigger problems to deal with than whether Ingred's mom is this Rosa the fuck person. Also really?! You all want to go back to the place we just left, to fuck with ROYAL ALCHEMISTS?! Like they're not just going to let anyone snoop around, also I don't even want to know what it feels like to be Ingred. Best case scenario, she is one of them, and then what? She's obviously not wanted. On the other side, we confirm what we just saw and everything she has ever known is a lie and is left with nothing- not even a what-if to hold onto. ''

''I swear these people do not listen. I'm in no way walk in the park to work with, but these problems they've been having-have been here LOOOONG before I came to the fray. I'm definitely not making it any easier, but I shouldn't have to. It's a problem that no one listens to Lily. It's a problem that they are so ready to drop everything at the change of hat, and to fucking give up when things get difficult. Yes, I'm FUCKING FURIOUS, they're making my job so fucking difficult, they've continuously ignored my boundaries and made sure our lives are put at risk by withholding information. Honestly, how the fuck do you say in a nice way, hey you all are a god damn mess, I don't want to be your friend, we need to get our shit together?!''

''I can't believe K, I obviously misread him. I thought he was a simpleton, but at least one that could listen. But no, he's just like everyone else. He acts as he cares about this group, but he's constantly trying to abandon it. Like fuck you, you brought us into your shit- they know our names and now you just want to go and deal with it on your own- full-on knowing that they have made it very clear they will continue to hunt us down regardless if they get their hands on whatever the fuck is inside him? ''

'' I appreciate Mr. Press finally getting us in a room to talk about our shit, I'm so disappointed in Lilly. She could be the perfect leader if she could just remind them why they chose her, and if only she would do her part as a fucking leader and make sure to bring us together to hash things out and set goals on what the party is going to prioritize. I understand she's young, but she can't be much younger than me. Honestly, I would fucking do it, but I don't know how to be gentle, understanding yes- but I'm still a bitch at the end of the day. Now I hope Anthos will fucking step up, like how can you be so old and just let this happen? If you chose Lilly to be your leader, why don't you back her up. Help be the muscle? Hopefully something concrete will come out of tomorrow's team meeting. ''

''But honestly, I'm bitter and angry. I don't just throw robber rot at people for no reason, I don't stab or punch people for no fucking reason. I've been working my ass off to try and help keep K and everyone safe- and they all could not care less! They're all concerned over their own stupid lives instead of the group, and the most immediate danger to us all. I don't care that this is my problem now, honestly, this might be connected to answers I've been looking for. I'm not scared of dying, I don't care about being haunted, but I do care that we actually start taking steps to address this threat. They say they've only known about this situation and have only been dealing with it for two months, but god damn I've only been here a couple of weeks- and if they would just fucking listen to me they would know I have a fucking location, we could go and scout it, we could trace the poison, with some more digging and actually getting our hands on it where we could then make an antidote, Like fucking assholes there is already an ANTIDOTE for non- celestial being, but they just never thought to ask the company about this poison, even though they say they know everything there is to know about this fucking poison flower and, blah, blah. They're obviously not taking this seriously, or too fucking distracted with their own shit. Obviously, since they were all just willing to fucking drop everything to deal Ingred's personal life. Hell if Ingred's shit begins to be a problem for the group I will be the first to try and figure the shit out. I'm good at my job when people let me fucking do it, and aren't constantly trying to "befriend me", which like it's obviously not genuine, psychoanalyze me for answers about my inner demons, not a great way to make friends, more like scout out liabilities. And you fucking know what they're not a problem right now and when they become a problem for the group-I will fucking deal with it!''

''Speaking of, I got to go fucking write this apology letter. God, I thought Zoiberd could find my humor, I guess not...while I'm at it I'll write what I know about K's stupid fucking situation- because they obviously don't care to know or listen to what I am ACTUALLY fucking saying. ''